That's Not Me
by FrauleinShannon
Summary: Klaine smut - repost from ages ago.


Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters (if any) and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

Warnings: Weight, Bareback

**That's Not Me**

This isn't the Kurt Hummel that left for New York City five months ago. This person standing in front of the mirror is not the Kurt Hummel that kissed his gorgeous boyfriend good bye with the promise of coming home every chance he got. This Kurt Hummel hasn't been home once since he left Lima Ohio in search of something more. No, this Kurt Hummel is not the Kurt Hummel that Blaine Anderson wants to see which is why Kurt isn't going to let Blaine know that he's coming home for Christmas when he calls him.

Living on his own is harder than Kurt thought it would be. He's always rushing off to his classes or to do some extracurricular activity and he doesn't have time for himself or anyone else. That's how it started. Kurt would come home from being in class all day to an empty dorm room and he would just feel defeated. Who cooks for one person? There's no need to waste his time and effort to cook when fast food is so easily obtainable.

It's like it happened over night. The day before Thanksgiving break he was happily making plans to fly home to be with his family and boyfriend when he caught sight of himself in the bathroom mirror. It hits him like a ton of breaks, knocking the air right out of him and throwing him into a panic. His body lurches forward and he pulls at his cheeks watching as the extra skin under his chin folds unflatteringly. Hot tears trail down Kurt's face as he backs up, running his hands down the front of his shirt, feeling the way the buttons strain over the extra weight he's packed on in the last couple of months. His cheeks are chubbier than they were his sophomore year of high school. His stomach is rounded and soft. His hips are bigger and his thighs touch and rub when he walks. He doesn't feel like he is in his own body anymore. Kurt spends the rest of the day in bed, calling his dad and telling him he won't be able to make it because he's sick and cancelling all of his plans.

The month leading up to Christmas break Kurt tries his best to eat better but it's much more difficult than he thought it would be and three days into his diet he is starving. All it takes for him to break is the scent of the fast food as he is passing the establishment. His stomach grumbles loudly causing Kurt to stop dead in his tracks. His stomach makes another loud sound and Kurt is finished fighting himself. Dropping his shoulders, he turns around and enters the restaurant. He ends up eating two double cheeseburgers, fries, an apple pie, and a large coke before he leaves the booth and heads back home utterly ashamed of himself. He cries himself to sleep that night praying, for the first time, that he could just be himself again.

When Kurt's plane touches down he doesn't expect to see his father and step-mother waiting for him. Carole runs to Kurt, pulling him into a tight hug and he tenses, sucking in his stomach and pulling his lower half as far away from Carole as he can without pulling out of her arms. If Carole and his father notice that he has gained weight they don't say anything as they chatter on the entire car ride to the Hummel-Hudson house. When they pull into the driveway his blood runs cold. Blaine's care is sitting in the driveway, covered in a light dusting of snow like it had been there for a while. Kurt stays rooted to his seat as he watches Carole exit the car and make her way inside the house.

"Why didn't you tell him you were coming home, Kurt? He was devastated when he came over for dinner last night and he had to hear it from us," Burt says, turning in his seat to look into his son's eyes.

Kurt has always been proud of his relationship with his father. When he had nothing good going for him he always had his father. Their relationship is built primarily of love and respect and honesty. So when Kurt's eyes glass over and the tears start sliding down his cold cheeks Burt Hummel doesn't think twice about getting out of the front seat and sliding into the back seat, wrapping his arms protectively around his shaking son.

"I don't want him to see me like this," Kurt says, voice cracking.

"He's seen you crying plenty of times so I'm going to take a shot in the dark and guess this has something to do with your weight," Burt says, pulling back from their embrace to catch his son's eyes again.

Kurt squeezes his eyes closed and cries harder, burying his face in his father's winter coat. The scent of his father is familiar and calming and soon his tears dry up and he is left breathing his father's scent in deeply.

"I've let myself go," Kurt whispers, his cheeks coloring in embarrassment.

Burt stays quiet, holding his son until Kurt pulls away and exits the car, heading straight into the arms of his step-mother in the kitchen. Kurt doesn't even notice that his father has followed him into the house until Burt is back downstairs telling him that he took his things to his room.

Kurt nods his acknowledgement at his dad and asks, "Where is he?"

"He's upstairs. He fell asleep in your room last night and I didn't have the heart to wake him up and make him go home. He was so upset, Kurt," Burt replies, placing his hand of Kurt's shoulder.

"Do you think he'll still want me?" Kurt asks, shyly.

"Oh Kurt, Blaine loves you. He loves you so much. Nothing could ever make him not want you. You should have seen him last night. He looked heartbroken when we asked him if he was excited to see you today," Carole says, squeezing Kurt around his middle.

"I'm not the boy he remembers. There's… more of me now," Kurt says miserably.

"Kurt Hummel, you are going to stop this right now! I'm not going to stand around and listen to you get down on yourself about something this stupid. Do you think your father would love me more if I didn't have this big ass? Huh?! Do you think your father was disgusted by my less than perfect body when we met? No. He fell in love with me not my waist or my stomach. Me," Carole says, waving her hands and pointing her finger at Kurt.

Kurt steps back from his step-mother, raising his hands in surrender saying, "I'm sorry. I've been alone the last few months and I've only had me to talk to."

Carole's face softens and she pulls Kurt into another hug, kissing his cheek before saying, "Finn won't be here until tomorrow morning. Rachel went to meet him in Georgia. Your father and I are going to go into town and pick up a few last minute things. We'll be back in a couple of hours. Go spend some time with that boy upstairs. He's crazy about you. We love you and we'll be back soon."

Kurt sighs, and waits until he hears the front door close and the car pull out before he gathers the courage to make his way up the stairs to his room. His bedroom door is open and the sight before him makes his heart crack. Blaine's eyes are puffy from crying and he has a deep frown on his face. Kurt slips his shoes off and tip toes over to the bed. Gently he lowers himself to the bed behind Blaine and wraps his arms around his boyfriend.

Blaine stirs, turning in Kurt's arms and blinking his eyes open. Blaine's eyes, upon opening, are deep, dark and filled with hurt but the moment he sees Kurt they lighten and begin to shine with unshed tears.

"You're here. You're really here," Blaine whispers, surging forward and attaching his lips to Kurt's in a passionate kiss.

Kurt's eyes slam closed and he pulls Blaine close to him, stiffening when Blaine's hand comes to rest of his hip but quickly melting into his touch when Blaine moans into his mouth and tighten his grip.

Their lips part and tongues meet for the first time in five long months. Blaine goes wild at that first bit of contact. His hips slam forward into Kurt's and his nails bite into the skin of Kurt's hip where his hand has slid under his shirt and into his pants. Kurt's whines high in his throat, grinding himself into Blaine's muscled thigh.

"You're so gorgeous. So fucking hot, baby," Blaine moans into Kurt's ear, pulling his lobe between his lips and sucking.

Kurt's eyes roll back and he throws himself into another kiss. God, he's missed this. Kurt's level of comfort rises and rises until Blaine falls to his back and tries to pull Kurt on top of him while they kiss. The first time Kurt resists Blaine thinks that he must not understand what he wants. The second time Kurt resists Blaine breaks their kiss and pulls back to look at Kurt's blushing face.

"What's wrong?" Blaine asks, running his hand down Kurt's side from his stomach to his ass and back up again.

"Um… you don't want me on top of you," Kurt says, pulling down his shirt where Blaine had pulled it up to expose the soft flesh of his stomach.

Blaine's face shows his understanding the moment he realizes what is happening, why Kurt hasn't been home in the last five months and why he didn't tell Blaine that he would be home for Christmas. Kurt tenses and waits for the explosion. He waits quietly for Blaine to really look at him, to see what a disgusting mess he has allowed himself to become, and to break it off before someone they know sees them together. Blaine could do so much better.

"This is why you turn down all of the video chat requests. This is why you didn't tell me you were coming home," Blaine says, pulling Kurt's shirt back up and rubbing his hand over the soft pale skin.

"Blaine, stop," Kurt says, grabbing hold of Blaine's hand.

"I don't want to stop, Kurt. I want to touch you. I want to show you how much I love you and how much I've missed you," Blaine says, touching his lips to the tip of Kurt's nose.

Kurt's grip on Blaine's hand slackens and Blaine resumes running his hands over Kurt's skin. Blaine takes his time undressing Kurt, starting with his shirt and kissing the skin that is revealed to him until all that Kurt is left wearing is a pair of charcoal briefs. As Blaine works Kurt's underwear down his legs he sucks at Kurt's belly, dipping his tongue into his bellybutton and nipping around the edge of it. Kurt's breath catches, the tip of his freed cock bouncing up and slapping Blaine in the chin.

Blaine giggles into the skin of Kurt's tummy brining a hand up to wipe the smear of pre-come from his chin. His eyes sparkle as he lifts his head to smile at his naked boyfriend.

"I want you to ride me," Blaine says, lacing his fingers with Kurt's.

Kurt nods and breathes deeply. Blaine hops up from the bed, making quick work of his clothes and running to Kurt's desk to get their bottle of lube. When he comes back to the bed Kurt is shifting nervously. Blaine smiles reassuringly, coats his fingers, and settles between Kurt's spread legs. Slowly Blaine slips a wet finger into Kurt, marveling at the tightness that surrounds him. He thrusts his finger slowly and evenly into Kurt, using his free hand to massage and knead the warm flesh of Kurt's thigh.

Kurt exhales and relaxes around Blaine and Blaine takes that as a go ahead to add a second finger. The second finger brings back the familiar sting of being loved and Kurt clenches around Blaine's fingers trying to keep them pressed deeply inside. Blaine curls his fingers upwards, and twists them on the next drag out causing Kurt's legs to jerk and his hips to thrust down. Adding more lube to his fingers, Blaine slides a third and final finger into Kurt, kissing the top of his knees when Kurt cries out.

Blaine takes his time making love to Kurt with his fingers, listening to the soft sighs and pleasured mewls that escapes Kurt's lips. When Kurt's hips begin to lift off of the bed and the only thing he is saying is Blaine's name in a sweet song of whines and whimpers, Blaine knows he is ready. Blaine gently pulls his fingers free, grabbing the abandoned bottle of lube and using it to slick his erection.

He pumps himself a few times to make sure the lube is applied liberally and props himself against the headboard with a pillow behind his back. Motioning for Kurt to straddle him, Blaine holds his erection straight and helps Kurt lower himself. Kurt closes his eyes and lets a sweet smile spread over his lips at the feel of Blaine inside of him again after being away for so long.

Blaine's eyes gloss over at the tenderness of the moment and he pulls Kurt's face to his and engages him in a simple loving kiss. Kurt pulls back from the kiss, wrapping his arms around Blaine's neck and begins to slowly rock his hips. They stay like this for what seems like an eternity, Kurt's head resting of Blaine's shoulder, his lips attached to Blaine's neck and his hips gently rocking in Blaine's lap. Blaine's head falls back as Kurt's rocking begins to pick up speed. Until now Kurt hasn't lifted himself from Blaine's lap and Blaine has been buried to the hilt inside of his lover finding pleasure in the way Kurt was squeezing around him.

Kurt plants his hands on Blaine's shoulders and uses his knees to help him rise and fall on Blaine's cock, brushing over his prostate each time he falls. Blaine's hand works between the two of them, fisting around Kurt's erection and letting Kurt fuck himself into his hand. His free hand roams around Kurt's body, grabbing a handful of his ass and helping him lift himself and thrust back down on top of Blaine.

Their eyes lock as their breathing starts to pick up and Kurt's thrusts down start to come quicker. Blaine's grip around Kurt's cock gets tighter and Kurt's eyes snap open, his pupils blown black. Kurt's mouth opens in a silent cry as he explodes between the two of them, painting his and Blaine's chest with ropes of sticky hot cum. Kurt's fluttering and squeezing around Blaine is enough to drive him off the edge and Blaine thrusts his hips up and releases himself inside of Kurt who whines at the feeling of the warmness inside of him.

Kurt falls forward in Blaine's lap, pressing the side of his face into Blaine's hair and Blaine's face into his chest. Blaine trails kissing along Kurt's neck and chest until they've caught their breath.

Carefully Kurt lifts himself from Blaine's lap and drops down beside Blaine on the bed. Reaching his arms out in front of him he makes grabby hands until Blaine is nestled against him with his ear resting against his beating heart. They don't say anything for a while, opting instead to quietly hold one another and be comfortable in the silence.

"I love you, Kurt. You're so beautiful and it breaks my heart when you don't think you're good enough," Blaine says, breaking the silence.

Kurt smiles softly; carding his fingers through Blaine's hair and says, "I love you too, so much."

Kurt's body may not be the way it was when he left for New York City five months ago but his heart is the same and so is Blaine's.

**Thank you for reading. Please review. This fic did not get passed to a beta and is being posted with all of my very own mistakes.**


End file.
